Tuesday, August 27, 2013

Am I depressed?

I have realised that i haven’t blogged for a couple of months and I could hide behind work and other commitments (not that anyone’s been asking me!) but the truth is that I was challenged about the direction that the blog was going (or rather the aimlessness of it) and I found it quite difficult to decide the theme that I wanted to run through the thing.

My challenger had suggested that each post be uplifting, designed to give people a ray of sunshine, encouragement, light relief. I liked the idea of that, but it has also given me writers cramp!

Supposedly, if you think you are depressed you aren’t which is a relief, because of late my glass is half empty:
 I’m turning into a grumpy old man who gets agitated at:

·         Teenager neighbours playing Miley Cyrus loudly when I’m trying to read in the garden. (Yes it might be ‘your body’ but its my ears!)

·         Anything to do with Jeremy Kyle
Give me strength!!
·         Fly tipping which ruin my runs (its everywhere!) Why cant forensic scientists work out where it comes from and nick the buggers?

·         My gas bill

·         The additional charge of using a credit card when buying an airline ticket

·         Everyone else on a ‘driver awareness course’

·         That smug git who does ‘Moneysavings expert’ but who will be the first to complain when banking isn’t free
Smugness wrapped in exfoliated skin

·         My shoulder, it still hurts

·         Professional indemnity insurance (it’s a long story)

·         Nanny state (Supposedly we soon wont be able to order our stake rare in a restaurant)

·         The Daily Mail (For creating stories like the above)

·         Michaela Strachan for how to go from being a babe to butters in one single episode of Country file.

·         Ill informed people who give all the credit to Bowie for ‘All the Young Dudes’

·         Luton Taxi Drivers

·         The ticket inspector at Luton Parkway who enjoyed my discomfort and charged me when I couldn’t find my ticket. He’s seen me go through the barriers tons of times

·         Funeral for a friend. (Not the pop group, the reality of losing a mate)

·         People who don’t say ‘please’ and ‘thank you’

·         Queue jumpers

·         How political correctness doesn’t stretch to stopping anyone saying the most offensive things about Jesus (Think about it)

·         The Premier league

·         Alcopops. If you don’t like proper booze you’re not old enough to drink.

·         Cyclists and all that is lycra

·         iPod 5 having a different sized charger socket so I cant dock it on my pig  

This last point sums up the cynicalness of businesses today. Warning, if you have an in car iPod system, a pig, a Bose docking station which have happily worked on your iPlayer, or phone version 1,2,3,4 DON’T buy an iPod 5, because Apple haven’t screwed enough money out of you and so have changed the size of the charger socket so it doesn’t work with anything.

Oh, forgive me, for a cool £25 you can get this flimsy adapter, that appears (based on the reviews on the Apple site) to work about 50% of the time. Thanks Apple. I’ve always wanted to be known as a businessman of integrity, spell that P-O-O-R!

 That’ll do.
Actually that was quite cathartic.

I guess every generation rolls out the line ‘it wasn’t like that in my day’ and we do hanker for a past that seemed altogether happier when perhaps we look back through rose coloured spectacles and forget the mods, rockers, punks, great train robbers who made us think that civilisation was coming to an end, but have you spoken to a teenager recently? FFS, self centred doesn’t come into it with most of them, and hard work is always discussed in the third person. Having said that, I know some pretty ignorant adults and they’re not all South African either.

I need a break. A break from work. Is it selfish to want a week of just me, running shoes, fishing rod, sun cream and a couple of John Grishams?
One day Jon, one day…..