Monday, October 21, 2013

One bad Apple!

A further week has passed and still we remain without hot running water and central heating. Thank goodness I’m such a mild mannered bloke and I take great comfort from the sincerity of Nicole at British Gas who ‘greatly sympathises’ and ‘just doesn’t know how we are coping!’
In your dreams!

Actually I’m not being fair on them. Last Wednesday I got a call from the Area Manager who was full of contrition over this ‘unavoidable situation’ from which they have ‘learnt lessons’ following on from my rant that I didn’t want money off I just wanted it done now!!

He listened, then offered to put the whole family in a hotel!

‘Any chance of any money off instead’ came my lame reply. I felt naked, exposed as the money grabber that I really am. But hold on, I’m not, I’m the victim here! I must keep reminding myself that.

He’s coming back to me, but it better be equivalent to The Savoy rather than a Travelodge! (Not that there’s anything wrong with Travelodges!)

£39p/n. Oh you want wifi, breakfast, early booking, late leaving, and to bring your dog??? That will be a bit more!
Anyway, enough of my moans. Actually it wouldn’t be me if I didn’t have a moan. I’ll tell you what gets my back up at the moment: Blatant commercial exploitation:

If you are a fan of Gavin and Stacey and would like to buy the last series on DVD, you would most likely have already got series 1 & 2 in your collection. So why are both Asda and Tesco only selling the more expensive Collective series 1-3? It’s only a tenner so a lot of people will just accept it but its cynical exploitation in my book.

Which one's Stacey?

£2 for 15 minutes to drop off at Luton Airport.  A captive audience as security is so strict, because of the threat of terrorism, that parking anywhere else than the official drop off is likely to get you shot by some crack SWAT team! It’s a cash cow and another example of cynical exploitation.

Rapid response Unit to a Double yellow line parking offence. fascists!
But the one that’s really got me is our friends at Apple. (Now, I’ve got the biography of that Jobs chap, and I’ll tell you what, if it wasn’t given to me as a pressie from someone I actually like, well, I’d wipe my backside with it!) I am the not very proud owner of an iPhone 5 which came about not through choice but because my phone package ran out and needed renewing. I left it to my Business partner to sort out as he likes that sort of thing. Anyway, to a philistine like myself, it’s just the same as my iPhone…one(??) in that I can call, text & play music, but the big difference is in the size & shape of the charger and corresponding plug hole!

See what I mean! Its a different size!Aaaaggghhh!!!!

In other words, previous users of iPhone 1,2,3 & 4 who will have also acquired docking stations, car iPhone adaptors, pigs (if you have one you’ll know what I mean) will find that these are all now redundant as they won’t fit the five!  

There’s something about the superficial nature of Apple devotees. I went on the website to seek reviews on the iPhone 5 and found that it’s not the change of charger that’s upsetting them, but that the plug hole on the phone is not in the centre at the bottom! This is not aesthetically pleasing when placed in the dock as it is off centre! I would so like to eavesdrop in these peoples houses. You’d dare not sneeze! You’d most certainly have to leave your shoes at the door. Superficiality of the worst kind, and I’d be tempted to perform an act on their polished tiled floors which would require the use of that Steve Jobs book!

Whatever you do, dont make crumbs!
Ah, but like a Gandolf appearing over the brow of the hill to save the day, our heroes at Apple have produced an adapter for those who simply wish to continue using their existing docking station and ‘in car’ system even if it is a bit off centre. And for this privilege, that will be twenty five pounds thank you sir!

Cynical commercial exploitation.

I’m too old to join an anti capitalist demo and throw a brick  through a window of McDonalds, and even though I detest the Daily Mail I detest those kind of lefty scroungers even more (spoken like a true Daily Mail reader!) and in fact I actually believe in capitalism and making an honest profit. But am I being romantic in believing there was a time when there was more subtlety in ripping us off? Now its like buying a coffee in Venice. Be rude to you and charge you the earth coz they know you won’t be back, but they also know there are plenty of mugs queuing up behind to buy because they’re thirsty.

Apart from the Tintoretto, Museums, gondolas, canals, churches, towers, vaporettas & the food, I hated Venice!

If you can think of any ways that we can fight back, or if you will find it cathartic to have a moan about your experience of cynical commercial exploitation, post a message!


  1. You poor dear what a lot roubles you.2 suggestions 1 start an award for "keeping Jon Cobb sane" and 2 threaten the Area Manager to name and shame on your blog unless you get money off. Sorted as you say

    1. If it isn't mysterious Anonymous!
      I'm really touched that you care!
      Can you help me stay sane? I'm wondering if you are out to get an award??